Mental health campaigner, Emily Nuttall, shares a poem inspired by her journey in eating disorder recovery. It depicts a journey of self-discovery, strength and hope.
Emily shares her poem with the hope to empower and inspire others along their recovery journeys.
Fighting my demons
Facing my fears
Something I’m ready to finally forever beat after many years
When I look in the mirror I need to be proud of me
Remind myself every day that I can break free
Beauty and personality comes in many different ways
And it’s important to remember that’s ok
I’m only human it’s ok to cry and break
After all life is a continuous journey of recovery and learning it’s ok to make mistakes
Never give up when the challenge ahead feels scary and tough
Just like the waves in the sea when unpredictability at times it can be rough
Surround yourself with the people that love and care
Remind yourself that no matter what they’ll always be there
Never give up never lose hope
I promise there will always be a way to cope
When anorexia, depression, anxiety, self-harm, flashbacks and thoughts of suicide try and take over me
Remember I am Emily and I can break free
Every day is a new day to give the battle another go
If I stay in this same place then I’ll never know
It’s been 15 years of fighting this continuous hell
And I finally more than ever want to be well
I am Emily and I will break free
I am not going to let my masks, fears, challenges and hurdles stop me
It’s time for me to be my own best friend
The road ahead will be bumpy, scary and hard but I won’t stop till I reach the very end
The darkness will soon be overtaken by the sky so beautiful and bright
Which will every day remind me that I will not give up this fight
It will be worth all these tears and fears
Because the future ahead is going to be healthy, happy and positive years
You are loved and wanted in this earth and place
Be proud of who you are and show your beautiful face
Because you will one day win this running race
So don’t give up when you wobble on your feet
Because this is a battle I am going to beat.
Remember the charities, helplines, your treatment teams, family and friends,
Who will be right with you holding your hand to the very end
Remind yourself that 5 years and 9 months out of inpatient is an achievement in itself
That you deserve to be well and have healthy physical and mental health
So stand tall Emily don’t give up this fight
I promise through the hardest, distressing and exhausting of days
You will come out stronger and it will all be ok
You can beat this and break free
And go on to whatever you want to be
The world is your oyster – go and grab it with both hands
Because you will reach your beautiful destination when you finally land.
Emily is a motivational disability, children, young people, families and homelessness campaigner and advisor with Action for Children. Emily is also an incredible mental health and eating disorder campaigner, champion and speaker, disability sports coach with Guernsey Mobility Let’s Go, MOE foundation coach, an entrepreneur and inspirational co-author for the books. She is an active fundraiser, campaigner, speaker and media volunteer for Beat, the UK eating disorders charity.
Emily is all about empowering people and inspiring long lasting change.
If you have felt inspired by this experience and wish to feature your own on our website, you can submit a Guest Blog for Orri here.