Eating disorder recovery is tough, and for many, it can feel like an unpredictable battle. However, the role of the non-negotiables in recovery can support consistency in this process. Beth, Orri’s Eating Disorder Dietitian, explores more in this blog.
Recovery from an eating disorder is incredibly challenging and exhausting at times. It requires relentless focus and motivation, and constant challenging of entrenched behaviours or thought processes that may have become normal and habitual.
At Orri, we understand that motivation levels and the psychological capacity to do this day-to-day may fluctuate, and on some days, we may wake up feeling particularly fragile. It’s at this point that the idea of non-negotiables comes in, allowing you to both stay on track with your recovery, whilst holding compassion for how difficult this can feel sometimes.
“The non-negotiables are the minimum expectations for every day.”
How non-negotiables work
“Non-negotiables” are behaviours and intentions that you know are a key part of sustaining your recovery that need to be in place even on your most challenging days.
They create a threshold that you know you cannot drop below, whilst leaving space for additional challenges that you may try to incorporate when you feel able to.
We sometimes also refer to these as the ‘foundations’ or ‘building blocks’ of recovery that need to be in place on a day-to-day basis.
What non-negotiables could look like
Including regular and consistent meals (sticking to the structure of your meal plan)
Including all food groups at meals
Taking your medication
Not engaging with calorie counting or step counting apps
Maintaining good sleep hygiene to support adequate rest
Having some form of social contact (text/call/in person) daily
Attending planned therapy sessions
Using your crisis/safety plan
Identifying and using a couple of helpful coping strategies e.g. box breathing, journaling
The idea is that on particularly difficult days, having your key non-negotiables to focus on, as opposed to everything you need to challenge in recovery, may feel less overwhelming.
For example, you may choose on this day to focus on sticking to your meal plan structure and timings, whilst on another day it may feel more possible to include a food exposure challenge.
The key thing to hold on to and remember is that the idea of non-negotiables is not to prevent progress and keep you stuck – it’s the opposite. It’s therefore important to be honest and authentic with yourself and your intentions and to tune in with what feels most helpful for your recovery at that moment vs what decisions may be underpinned by avoidance.
“The key thing to hold on to and remember is that the idea of non-negotiables is not to prevent progress and keep your stuck but the opposite. It’s therefore important to be honest and authentic with yourself and your intentions.”
Could you think of some non-negotiables that feel relevant for your own recovery? We would encourage you to write this down somewhere accessible to remind you what to focus on when recovery feels particularly challenging.
