Our Regular Guest Blogger uses poetry to express his learnings and emotions throughout his recovery from Anorexia. In this poem, he explores family dynamics with an eating disorder.
“I am now over two years into recovery from Anorexia Nervosa. The debilitating disease that broke life slowly piece by piece, for not just I but those close. That resulted in a hospital admission.
It’s a vile tyrant and master chameleon that I have since tried to build awareness around through working alongside specialist charities and talks.
Sufferers must know there is help out there and that they can live again.”
‘No longer open and honest’
Mother was always brought up and told no one,
Ought to spit, now go and take sides with etiquette,
Passed on to her daughter, her image no denying it,
Tell each other everything, best friends and so close,
They fit, one always there, since putting on nappies,
For the other to wear, putting a plaster on a tear,
Nineteen times and counting paying the birthday,
Party charge fair, even offering advice on safe sex,
To share; they were a dream team, always going out,
Together whatever the weather, it be crying over a film,
Paints into town, drinks, onto blues and rhythm one thinks,
More than most to sit across restaurant table able to,
Share without any fuss or faze, smiling and staring with,
Full gaze, those were the days, until mother started,
Treading eggshells with what to say, compliments,
Concerning daughters’ clothes, body and looks welcomed,
With shouts, doors slammed and throwing of books, smiles,
Less, a single slice of pizza and suddenly sweat, tears and,
Distress, mother had to later confess that appearances were,
Now deceiving, a dishevelled mess, no lie but daughter,
Always did, as food started to vanish from fridge to be,
Teleported to bin as if rid, love and care had now been laid,
Down to a bear, ranges of changes no longer excused on the,
Hormones of a teen, less keen, last kiss had been?
No more expression but way more mean, unexplained,
Pained and unforeseen, mothers face blue and without,
A clue, was there something she had not seen?
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