Our recent Guest Blogger candidly shares her experience with binge eating and offers her learnings of self-love and compassion. She hopes it resonates with others and aids them along their eating disorder recovery journeys.
I have been looking for a way to reach out and give my honest thoughts on what I allowed myself to believe was a failing of my own doing until I reached my 60’s and then I became aware that I had wasted my life in a negative relationship with food.
From the age of twelve, when my mom put me on my first diet, I have had such a bad relationship with food trying every which way to lose weight and having success but always regaining every single time. The worst thing was the binge eating in secret and the shame and guilt I felt every time: but I couldn’t stop.
I read every single article on how my brain was wired and that I could stop if I wanted to but nothing ever changed and I was miserable.
When I turned 60 this year, I started for the first time to come to terms with my weight and my binge eating.
I realised I needed a more compassionate approach to this relapses and that I needed support myself to get back on track when I lose my way, and in doing this not only have I maintained a reasonable weight but the time between when I lapse has become longer. I don’t beat myself up (well not so much) I just resign myself that its happened and move on. I give myself love and care in the same way I would do for the ones I love – and it works.
It has taken me a long time to get to this point but I think I’m on the right road. Even if I take a detour every now and then. For me, bringing compassion has been the “cure” I needed that helps you feel better. So, in the same way that if I had a headache I would take pain relief, with my binge eating the cure for me is to get back on track is to bring compassion and kindness.
I really hope some of this resonates with someone somewhere and if it does then I am happy.
For more information on Binge Eating Disorder, click here.