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‘Kindness’ itself can have so many meanings,
We’re told that kindness evokes positive feelings,
Take a bath, paint your nails, make a call to a friend,
Make a tea, take a walk, write a letter to send,
But what if these acts don’t make me feel good?
When my brain is preoccupied by ‘I must, I should’
I try to distract, block these thoughts from my brain,
But always they loom like a cloud filled with rain,
When I try to relax, in my mind I hear “NO”,
I panic, I stop, elsewhere I must go,
I long for a moment filled with peace,
For my racing thoughts for once to cease,
“Shut up, go away” I’m trying to be kind,
I’m doing everything I should, but you’re still in my mind,
Countless activities I force myself to try,
But nothing works, I’m left asking “why?”,

I stop for a moment, inhale the air,
Place both feet on the ground and stop to care,
Maybe it doesn’t matter what ‘things’ I do,
What matters most is to myself I am true,
My brain is busy, and that’s okay,
Thoughts will come and go throughout the day,
With these tasks, from my thoughts I was trying to hide,
When actually they’re coming from deep inside,
If I stop for a minute and allow them in,
Realise that having them at all isn’t such a sin,
I get a chance to process, to think them through,
Then these acts of kindness become easier to do
Through all this I’ve learnt to give myself a rest,
That it’s simply okay to do my best,
Perfect ‘kindness’ itself cannot be defined,
If this I accept, to myself I will be kind.

 

 

 

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