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Our client shares her thoughts about finding hope and resilience amidst the pandemic.

If anything, 2020 taught us uncertainty. It showed us that the ground under our feet is often unsteady, and I have seen this help many find resilience. I want to find this resilience too.

Some people like to deal with the uncertainty by saying everything happens for a reason, and I understand the comfort in that idea, but my logical mind can’t get behind it. The world is absurd.

Sometimes life throws a lot of bad stuff at you, and often there is no justification. There was no reason why my mum died, why COVID came about, why I developed anorexia, it’s all just coincidentally horrible.

But just because these things don’t have a justification doesn’t mean I have permission to sit in despair. Not everything happens for a reason, but I can create my own reasons through what I do next.

“Because when you can’t hold the hope for yourself others can be there to hold it for you. That is what Orri does.”

For example, I am not going to pretend that COVID came about to teach me anything – it came about because people ate some dodgy bats – but I have options as to how I move forwards with that.

I can decide to continually hold resentment, or I can try to settle, recognise the pain it’s caused me with compassion yet still learn from the experiences it has brought about.

I think the second option is better. I’m not saying don’t be angry or sad, goodness I think crying and raging is so important sometimes – the world is crazy and upsetting and not fair at all, and you have a right to be angry or sad or whatever you feel about that.

But then you have a choice – you can sit static in that resentment or you can recognise it, hold it, feel it and move onwards with it, not letting it control you but learning from the experiences where possible. You can take back the reins and decide – what are you going to do next?

What are you going to do next?

I’m going to try and keep going. I have to try and keep going.

I have felt all this pain, yes, but I have also felt joy, and I must trust that that joy will come again and that that is worth fighting for, that the world is scary right now but it won’t always be this way.

Maybe I don’t really believe these things for myself but I am trying to listen to those around me who say they are true. Because when you can’t hold the hope for yourself others can be there to hold it for you. That is what Orri does.

“It’s worth it, because amidst the struggles good things happen too, and they are worth fighting for.”

One day I will, we will, recognise the unsteadiness of the ground under our feet and still stand strong, hold hope, keep going. That is resilience.

Not believing that the tremors won’t knock us down but believing that when that happens we will be able to stand back up again, with the help of those around us.

We can’t stop bad things happening but we can change how we respond, we can learn to safely and compassionately hold life’s risks and manage difficulties if and when they come.

It’s worth it, because amidst the struggles good things happen too, and they are worth fighting for. Life is worth fighting for.

 

– E.W.

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